Blessed out of my mind

This is and is going to continue to be a bittersweet semester for me.  I'm so very excited about all the opportunities that I have already have and have lined up for the next few months, many of them culminating in the college graduation of my all my friends.  I however, will be staying at Purdue another year to finish my degree.  It's been hard to come to terms with at times, knowing that the people I have lived life with for the past 3.5 years won't be here after May, but it has caused me at many times to sit and reflect about where I have come from and where God is leading me.

And the thing I keep coming back to again and again is that I am SO. Blessed.  God has opened so many doors for me in the past year and given me the chance and the drive to walk through many of them.  I get to choreograph another piece for PCDC which I am super excited about, I have another internship for this coming summer this time at Cargill in Minnesota, I have the opportunity to continue to mentor and work with the Honors College freshman here at Purdue, I've been asked to do several side projects with one of my dance professors, and I've gotten to see my best friends do great things with their life as well which brings me no end of joy.  Plus on top of that, I get to plan my wedding to one of the best guys I could ever know that somehow makes me keep falling in love with him even when he bugs the crap out of me!

I have been overwhelmed time and time again not only by my crazy schedule and all the lab reports that I write all the time, but by all the love that is poured out on me through the people in my life.  In my life right now I think it does the best job of bringing me to my knees in awe of my Savior.  I honestly don't understand why He has given me so many great things in my life, it's not like I'm by any means the most deserving of them.  Nor do I even make the most of the situations that He puts me in.  I screw so many of them up all the time due to my own selfishness or laziness.  But He continues to give me chances to do all these great things and couples with that the passion and love to make it so fulfilling.

So I guess what I am trying to say here, is that despite how much I may complain this semester about my classes or how busy I am or how difficult it is to do all the things that I want to do, I really am just rolling around and being covered by the love of God expressed through others.  Kind of like diving into the ball pit at Chuck E Cheese.  And boy does it feel good.

to be continued...

It's the start of finals week and I just wrapped up my 5th season with the Purdue Contemporary Dance Company.  As I was working on my choreography proposal for this coming semester, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and watch videos of all the previous works that I have created since coming to Purdue.  I watched them in reverse order, so starting with the more recent works and making my way back to the solo that I had to compose for my midterm project in Composition Class my freshman year.

That solo was titled "to be continued..." and I remember having a big discussion with Sally, the instructor who would later become one of my dance mentors, about the title of the piece.  She thought it should be titled Black and Grey while I was dead set on having it the previously mentioned title.  In the end, she let me choose what I wanted, but because of that discussion, I have always felt that the piece maybe wasn't titled correctly those three years ago.

But as I journeyed backwards through my work, I noticed a very large trend with my work.  For a long time I have been fascinated by the articulation of peoples hands.  Their other body parts as well like their feet, elbows, knees, heads, etc., but most of all the hands.  I find them to be a beautiful part of the body and the emotion and feelings that can be conveyed through them astounds me.  They sweat when we are nervous, they convey confidence or timidity in a handshake, we place wedding bands on them when we make those vows, we use them for everything.  I composed an entire piece about the articulation of body parts for PCDC last year entitled "d i s c r e t e" but as I watched "A Phoenix, Buried" and "Doors" and "Crinkle" and finally "to be continued..." I realized that I had gotten to the choreography in "d i s c r e t e" by way of the rest of the pieces.

When I titled my solo "to be continued..." it was because to me that dance was representative of my life.  It conveyed the struggle that I had with myself and with God about who I was and who I was becoming.  The fights and trials I had suffered in my life, the perseverance through them, and the dedication to continue to fight those battles.  to be continued was the phrase that I always felt about my life because I knew how much more I was going to learn throughout my days.  But what struck me this evening when I was watching and looking at the piece, is that the majority of my work at Purdue has been greatly influenced by the curiosity that arose from me one day in composition class.  The material that was put into that solo work has subsequently worked its way into every other thing that I have done in the past three years in some way or another.

So not only did "to be continued..." apply to the emotional connection I made with that first piece, but it was also foreshadowing the work that was to come from my dancing experience.  Interesting to know that it has taken three years to get to a point where I am able to look back and see the growth that has occurred.  It has also taken three years to be able to convince myself once and for all that "to be continued..." really was the right title for that first modern dance work of mine.

~A

Cherry Limeade Recipe

Today at work we had a potluck lunch to thank me(hehe) for all the work I did this summer as an intern.  I think it was their way of not having to take me out to lunch at a restaurant like most of the other groups have done for their interns.  But I didn't mind that much because when you work with people who all cook, why wouldn't you want to eat their food?!?

My contribution to the delicious meal was Cherry Limeade as I had leftover supplies from Ginny's bachelorette party mojitos to use up.  However, after scouring the web(okay spending like 30 min) trying to find a good recipe, I just decided to wing it and make my own.  It was quite delicious if I do say so myself!  However, be warned that I like these kinds of drinks fairly tart, so you might want to add more sweetener to it if you don't like eating lemons in the same manner as oranges, like I do.  :D

Cherry Limeade:

1 1/2 cups freshly squeezed lime juice (about 5-6 limes worth)
1/2 cup cherry puree (I just used frozen cherries and threw them in the food processor)
2 TBSP lime simple syrup (2 parts water to one part granulated sugar with a TON of lime zest)
2 Liters of Sprite

lime wedges and cherries for garnish.

Amounts might need to be adjusted for taste, but this is a good base to work off of.  This made enough to serve the 10 people at lunch.

and then I said yes!

   Preface: Dan and I have been dating for over 2 years now and I have known in my heart for the past 1.5 years that I wanted to marry him. The struggles of bringing my head into alignment with the love that my heart felt took some time, but it finally came to a place of fruition where I finally felt secure enough to be able to say yes with both. I had told Dan a long time ago that I would not accept an engagement ring from him until he was financially independent(in his case, this meant he had graduated undergrad) so I knew what the timing would look like for our engagement. All semester as I have watched literally countless friends and acquaintances get engaged and/or married, I was literally sitting on pins and needles waiting for my own turn. I knew that it would happen sometime this summer, and knowing my fiance so well, I figured that it would happen sooner than later, but I was trying not to anticipate anything because I knew he wanted to surprise me. I left the country on a study abroad trip to Italy in the middle of May, fulfilling a lifelong dream to visit and experience that beautiful country. I had limited use of the internet while I was there, but I did get to talk to Dan fairly often on facebook for at least a little bit of time. During one of these exchanges, he randomly linked me to a website listing dance performances in Chicago in June. He said that we needed something to look forward to when I came back other than just the number of weddings we have to attend this summer.(I say have in the meaning that I LOVE weddings and am so honored to be going to all of them!) I of course am not one to turn down a chance to see dance, especially in Chicago, so I was all for it.

 As the days went on though, the trip to Chicago became more elaborate. First it was dinner, then lunch at *this really awesome pizza place that has the best pizza ever* (why had he never taken me there before then?) and then going early to walk around Millennium Park, and finally, riding the ferris wheel at Navy Pier at NIGHT. This last little bit really put my suspicions through the roof. At that point we were in Rome, and I turned to the girls I was sitting with and was like, "Guys, I think my boyfriend is proposing to me in a week and a half, because he now wants to ride the ferris wheel, one of my favorite things in the entire world, in Chicago, in the evening."

 I kept going back and forth, trying to analyze every part of the situation, attempting to decide if I thought it was going to happen that day or not.

 "It's so early in the summer"

 "I bet this is just him trying to psych me out"

 "I'm just getting too excited and impatient"

 "But he wouldn't spend all that time and money if it wasn't the real deal"

 "He's more impatient than I am, why wouldn't it be at the beginning of the summer"

 These are just some of the things that constantly went through my head in the 1.5 weeks leading up to June 9th. I had oodles of conversations with EVERYONE, getting everyone else's opinion on the matter. (all the while not knowing that most of them already knew what was going on. I told you Dan can't keep secrets) I couldn't decide if I should prepare for the excitement and risk disappointment, or if I should not prepare and risk not wearing my cutest outfit. lol. After a long night's chat with Josh the night before, I went with my gut, wore the cute sundress, and prepared myself to get engaged on Navy Pier on the ferris wheel.

 Day Of (1): I woke up early on June 9th because Dan insisted that we had to leave Laffy Taffy at 8am. I had no idea why we needed to be in Chicago SO early, especially since I had just finished the first week of my internship and I was exhausted. But up early I was and then promptly fell asleep again in the car. We got to Chicago around 9:30am local time(before the Art Institute was open, so people were able to take pictures touching the lions in front) and spent about 2 hours walking around Millennium Park, seeing the Bean, enjoying the weather, and walking down by the water. Essentially we were just killing time before we went to lunch. I still didn't understand why we were there since it's not like I haven't been to Chicago a zillion times before, but I had just decided to go with it and let Dan execute what was obviously a carefully planned out day.

 After walking around we went back to the car and drove north? and ended up by a different part of the lake. Dan was being super secretive of the little piece of paper he was holding that had directions on it and the parking situation wasn't turning out so well for us. We were right by several beaches and the beautiful weather had brought out everyone and their dogs that day. After a masterfully executed 3 point turn by Dan, we found a parking spot. As we got out, Dan INSISTED that I put on sunscreen as he slung the wine carrier over his shoulder, explaining that he had paid a corking fee so we could have good wine with lunch. As we started walking to find the restaurant, he turned to me and said, well I guess it's probably obvious that I've never actually been to this place before. I responded with, I didn't think so. Then he said, we are looking for Dock B. I realized that we were getting on a boat (YAY!) but still didn't really understand what the deal was. We get to the dock and sign our life over to the boat company where I hear that whatever boat we are getting on, we have it for two hours.

 We climb aboard "The Traveler" a small little sailboat with a small cabin underneath and meet our captain whose name I honestly have no recollection of. As we get out to the lake Dan just has this giddy smile on his face and I know he is quite proud of himself. My only question at the time was whether or not we still got to eat. There was bruschetta and pizza below deck for us with of course the delicious Reisling that we brought a long. It was a bit difficult to manage eating on a boat that kept rocking back and forth, but I was just loving being out on the water. It was a perfectly beautiful day with bright skies and just enough wind to make sailing possible. Plus, from the water we had a most excellent view of the skyline which is one of my favorite things to look at. We could also see Navy Pier and the ferris wheel which I was still super excited to get to ride that evening. Once we finished eating, Dan took the plates below deck and came back with a giant bouquet of roses. (He clearly hadn't picked them out himself though, because they were not solid red, they just had red tips)

 It was at that instant that I knew he was about to propose. He sat down, handed me the flowers, and gave some short little speech about how much he loved me and all that we had been through together in the past 2+ years. (I honestly don't remember most of what he said, he said it all so fast!) Then he shakily got down on one knee(remember, we are on a tiny sailboat and the captain is still sitting there too) and said, "I just need to ask you a question though, Allyson Mercer, will you marry me?"

 *Pause* Now, I was thinking beforehand that I would say no whenever he asked me, just like Clare does in The Time Traveler's Wife and say something about wanting to exert my own free will, but I totally forgot about it in the moment. *Unpause*

 I simply said yes and leaned in to kiss him. After we finished kissing he was just sitting there smiling at me, so I finally said, "Do I get the ring?" He insists that he didn't have a chance to because I was kissing him, but I contest. :) After that we still got to sail around for 1.5 hours enjoying the beautiful weather, the skyline, and being out on the water.

 Day Of (2): Once we got back onto land, we stopped to use the restroom before heading off to go to jewelry stores to find the real ring. A group of ladies were outside as I was waiting and after whispering to themselves for a minute or two, one of them came up to me and asked if I had just gotten engaged. I happily replied yes, that he had done it on the boat which they all just "awwwwwwed" to. Apparently they found it as adorable as I did.

 Once we left we went to Wabash Avenue where jewelry stores abound so I could start looking for a ring that I liked. I have always wanted to pick out my own engagement ring because I want to love everything about it if it's going to be worn every day for the next 60+ years. We went to about half a dozen places and then went back to the first place to look at a ring that I really liked again. I loved it the first time, but I wanted to see what else was out there so I didn't feel like I was settling. But it was so beautiful. We actually just paid the deposit on it, so hopefully I will be able to post a picture of it in a few weeks. :)

 After the ring shopping and numerous phone calls made to family and friends to inform them of the happy news that most of them already knew about anyway (thanks a lot Dan :P) we went out to eat a sushi place by the Art Institute. Knowing my tendency to try random new things, Dan convinced me to order octopus sushi. Needless to say, as adventurous of an eater as I can be, I was not fond of staring at the suckers still on the tentacles, nor the EXTREME chewiness of the meat. I can confidently say, that while it does not taste bad at all, octopus is not my thing. I'll stick to my eel any day, thank you.

 Following dinner was the promised dance show that was supposedly the reason we were coming to Chicago anyway. "Gotham City" by Chicago Dance Crash was a spectacular performance of hip hop/street infused modern dance performed in a black box theatre on Randolph street. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the show and I hope to be able to see more of what this company and choreographer does in the future. When the show was over, I was still insistent that we go to Navy Pier for the ferris wheel ride. It was the thing I had been looking forward to for 2 weeks now and despite the fact that I was already engaged, I REALLY wanted to go. So we took an extended walk there, going through alleys and random parking lots, getting disoriented at least once and frustrated at least twice. But finally we made it and I got my ferris wheel ride in the end. The skyline was just as beautiful lit up at night, and now I got to enjoy the experience with my fiance. ;) I even got a funnel cake out of the adventure, which was also a plus!

 All in all, it was a very long, exhausting, exciting, all sorts of wonderful day. I get to marry the love of my life. My partner in crime, my confidant, my favorite person to tickle and cuddle with, the person who has shown me what commitment, sacrifice, and love looks like in a relationship. And for all of you who are wondering, NO we have not set a date yet! Once we find a place to married at, we will set a date and let people know. For now, you can just block out the entire month of October, 2013. :P

 Kudos to you if you lasted long enough to get to the bottom of this, or even cared to! But that, in a nutshell is the story of the day I said yes!

Roommates: Chapter 4

Something that has been on my mind and been a frustrating point in my life since the middle of November is that I resigned my lease and didn't have all the roommates needed to fill all the spaces. Nyssa and I have been looking and looking and asking and attempting to persuade so many people since November. We had several people say yes only to back out just a few days later. I was getting really discouraged that things weren't working out. But I had at least 5 people that said, I'll know in May/June if I need a place to live next year and if I do, I would totally live with you!

Fast forward to March. Spring Break is approaching, people are starting to find out about RA positions, jobs, co-ops, etc. Nyssa and I decide that a choice must be made. If we don't have a new roommate shortly after spring break, then we are breaking our lease and finding a two-person apartment that we can afford. It's not the most ideal plan, but in the long run, it will cost the least amount of money. Keep in mind that throughout all these months of not knowing who I would be living with, I was doing my best to keep the attitude that God had something in mind for us and he WOULD provide. It wasn't until Spring Break time that I thought maybe what he was calling us to do was live somewhere else. Before Spring Break I contacted everyone who was a maybe for living with us and said that we needed some sort of answer by the end of spring break. One after another no's, and sorry's came back and Nyssa and I were prepared to go find a new place to live.

Then low and behold our dear friend Murphy said, "Hey you know my friend Brianna, she still needs a place to live next year. You should ask her."

And just like that, all our plans changed. Brianna and her dove, Mr. Darcy agreed to live with us for the next school year, and all the paperwork was completed within two weeks. As I reflected on it later, I realized that my initial feeling that God would provide someone I couldn't even dream up was absolutely true. I don't even know what prompted me to think that changing leases was the best option, probably just my desire to gain some control of the situation at hand, like I always feel like I need to do. I'm just very glad that God showed us what was best for us in time. It's been a great test of faith and trust in the One whom I often claim to have faith and trust in.

And I'm quite looking forward to what a new year of roommates will bring. Ginny will be dearly missed though... :)

~A

What's Behind Door Number Three?

Something else that has been a large part of my life is semester is being a student choreographer for the Purdue Contemporary Dance Company. I have been working towards this goal for almost three years now (basically since I started at Purdue) and it has finally become a reality. I have already been working with my group of 7 lovely dancers for about 7 weeks now, crafting a piece of choreography out of the creativity of their dancing bodies and some direction and ideas of my own.

It's been a really different experience, having 3 hours of rehearsal every week, coming up with costumes that I actually have a budget for, working with a super cool sound designer, (whose name happens to be Mercer, yes I know, it's adorable) and my favorite ever lighting designer, Ethan. :) I have a top notch team working with me, and a vivid imagination that is making this into a fun experience that is stretching me as a choreographer and dancer.

Last week I had the AWESOME opportunity to attend the American College Dance Festival which was held at Grand Valley State University in Michigan with several(~25) Purdue cohorts. At the festival I was able to take a gaggle of master classes from faculty members at schools around the country, watch 7 phenomenal dance concerts, perform in one of them, and listen to feedback from three highly esteemed adjudicators. The feedback was probably what challenged me the most as I listened to the adjudicators pick apart and dissect and evaluate and comment on piece after piece. Some of what they said I agreed with, some of it I didn't, but all of it was constructive in helping me re-evaluate what I am currently working on this semester. I'm really excited to head back to school and apply some of these ideas I have to my dance this semester. Hopefully my dancers don't get too upset about the new changes that are headed their way. :)

Also, if anyone is interested in attending this show at the end of April, let me know!

~A

I've been waiting on this door.

My opportunity has finally come. I got a summer internship working with Sensient Flavors in Indianapolis, Indiana. I am super excited to have the chance to work in industry and experience that side of Food Science. I have been placed in the Savory Lab division, what exactly I will be working on has yet to be determined and will likely vary from day to day.

Getting this internship has been the result of a lot of patience and reliance on God for His timing. I desperately wanted one last summer and it wasn't provided for me. I did however have a great experience working full time at Purdue and learning a lot about working with a variety of people. I am over the moon to be having a different sort of experience this summer though. I will still be living in West Lafayette as the one downside to this internship is that housing is not provided. Living at home would be the same amount of driving as living in Laffy Taffy so I decided to stay in the community of my friends and life at Purdue. I am looking forward to growing in several relationships this summer as one of my roommates is likely staying in Laffy Taffy as well.

I feel like this internship has been a long time coming. It's been hard standing by, watching my friends and peers get internships far before me and gaining all the experience that I want. Honestly it has been hard getting past this idea of entitlement that I should be given something just because I worked for it, just because some people tell me that I should.

I'm looking forward to a new work environment, I'm looking forward to being challenged by a new job, and I'm looking forward to my first foray into the food industry!

~A

The Gift of Feeding Others

People often talk about their spiritual gifts and how they can best utilize them to serve God and others. Not to sound full of myself or completely looney, but I really do think that one of my spiritual gifts could be the gift of feeding others. I suppose that you could lump it under serving others, or caring for others, but I like to look at it as cooking for Jesus.

As far back as I can remember I have loved being in the kitchen, helping to prepare dinner, making chocolate chip cookies or banana bread to share with others. As I have grown, that love and excitement of making food in the kitchen has only grown. I always said that I wanted to be a chef when I was little and I have long admired the skills of Emeril Lagassee, Alton Brown, and many others. My path on Food Science has steered me a little bit away from that, but I am confident that God is directing me where He wants me. Eventually at least.

However, this semester He gave me an opportunity to share my talents and passion with many people and have some fun while I was at it. February 18th I competed with three other friends of mine in the 3rd Annual Boiler Culinary Throwdown Competition. It's basically Purdue's version of Iron Chef: America, but with teams of 4 instead of chefs going head to head. We were given the secret ingredient of lemon balm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melissa_officinalis) and challenged to come up with an appetizer, main dish, and dessert incorporating that ingredient that could all be cooked in 90 minutes. Added challenge was that we did not have the use of an oven or stove, just two butane burners to make all of our food. Challenge Accepted.

My fantastic team consisting of my roommate Ginny, my good friend Amber, and my friend Jake, all of whom are also Juniors in Food Science at Purdue, dubbed ourselves "The Saccharides" bringing our flair for science into the cooking show-down. We each took the name of a Saccharide for the competition: Jake was sucrose(a disaccharide), I was fructose(monosaccharide), Ginny was glucose(monosaccharide, also dubbed "the simple one"), and Amber was galactose(monosaccharide). Also, did I mention that Jake is about 6' 5''? With me clocking in at 5' 7'', I was the next tallest team member. Hence the disaccharide/monosaccharide thing. haha, we're so clever. We went head to head against 4 other teams of 4, most of which had more experience working in a professional setting in one team member than we did in all 4 of ours combined. However, we had some pure talent and science on our side. Our main competition was a team composed of 4 HTM majors, two of whom are going off to the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) after graduating in May. Some of them had competed in this competition before, but not won. They were slightly intimidating as far as competition goes, but we kept it all light hearted and fun and were determined to just make the best food we could and have a great time doing it.

In the end my team ended up being the overall winners of the throwdown taking home the coveted knives. I was so ecstatic and proud of all the work that my team had put into it. I had entered the competition simply because I wanted to face a challenge just to see how I would do. I never imagined that we could come out of it the winners. I received many congratulations from my family and friends that were there supporting me, as well as numerous people in the days after. However, it struck me a little while after how much I didn't really deserve the praise that I was receiving. I did not in any way feel worthy of it.

I firmly believe that for whatever reason, God gave me a talent and a passion for cooking and for sharing my cooking with others. Winning the competition that day was to me, a fantastic example of how God can use the talents he bestows on us. I was very humbled by the fact that my team won, because I knew that it was only by our God-given gifts that we had been able to do anything noteworthy. It has spurred me on to try and better understand how God wants me to use this specific set of gifts to serve and glorify Him. How can my knife skills and cheesecake making abilities bring glory and honor to him?

I feel as though I can't adequately describe how this throwdown made me feel, and really, how it brought me even just a little bit into a deeper relationship with Christ. It amazes me every time I think about it. The engraved knife I have sitting in my kitchen will forever be a reminder to me that God gave us beautiful gifts. Go out and use them!

Also, for those of you who were wondering, this is what we made.


The appetizer was a chilled melon soup, made with cantaloupe, red peppers, and cream. It was served with a parmesan nut crisp that is essentially like a cheese cracker.

The main course was pork loin cooked sous vide, served with a lemon balm creamy pesto over penne with sauteed red peppers.

Dessert was a no-bake lemon cheesecake with a lemon balm reduction syrup.

And yes, the soup was served in a 100mL beaker and the syrup in a test tube. For Science!

~A

Wedding Number 1: Hannah and Joel

The weekend of February 11th, I had the distinct honor of traveling to Odon, IN to stand up in my dear friend Hannah's wedding. I have known Hannah since my freshman year at Purdue, when I joined the Windsor Governing Board. The next year when I was a sophomore she lived down the hall from me and we grew closer serving on the Executive Board together. I also found out that she went to my church and worked in the office there. We spent a lot of time chatting during the day when I would hang out and do homework. About the same time that Hannah's relationship with Joel began to blossom, she decided to join my current roommate Ginny and I on a lease at Copper Beech.

I still distinctly remember the day that Hannah called me in July. I had just gotten into the car to head over to Dan's for dinner and to visit with his mom and grandma who were visiting. I answered the phone, slightly confused as to why she was calling me at that particular time but glad to hear from her nonetheless. She started off the conversation with the typical hey how are you and then said, "I have something to ask you actually, will you be one of my bridesmaids?" I answered, "Absolutely!" before it even sank in what she was asking. I quickly ingested the information and proceeded to ask, "Wait, when did THIS happen?!?" Less than an hour ago was her reply and I quickly squealed in delight asking for all the details of the proposal. I was absolutely ecstatic for Hannah and her impending nuptials.

Being able to spend that weekend with Hannah and her family leading up to the wedding was a time I will always treasure. The love that was evident between Hannah and Joel and all of their families was heartwarming and gave me faith in the vows of marriage. I got chills standing up there in the church listening to Hannah and Joel recite their vows, to know how much support and love existed between them and how committed they were to their relationship. I had the privilege of watching their relationship grow from the start and to see it come full circle made me so happy.

I am so looking forward to weddings 2, 3, and 4 of this year. Aamod & Bethany, Ben & Alice, and Clay & Ginny respectively.

A Semester of Food

Recently a friend of mine was complaining that all I have done this semester is write lab reports and bake. Really when you get down to it, that is mostly correct. It is a busy semester full of classes that can at times be overwhelming, but the rest of the time make me so glad that I am in school doing what I am doing.

There are also a few exciting adventures that have happened recently and I'd like to be able to share them with you all here. Partially at the request of a friend to be able to see more of what I've been up to, and partially because I really would like to be able to keep people in the loop on the happenings of my life since I am so terrible at keeping in contact with people who matter to me.

Thusly the next few posts will hopefully be informative and enjoyable to read. :)

~A

The Best Friday Night Includes

~Actually accomplishing some homework so you don't feel like a failure for doing the subsequent items on this list

~Starting a boob tag game

~Getting sweet, sweet revenge by merciless tickling

~Making yummy food for friends, and trying a new recipe

~Laughing until it hurts

~Playing a game of euchre with four people that actually know how to play

~A beautiful night outside

~Eating way too much popcorn

~Making birthday calls

~New life experiences

Lists

I love:

~having old campers run up to me when I visit and attack me with hugs.

~seeing campers grow up and mature into incredible young ladies of the Lord.

~dancing like a fool with my little brother and sister and have it be totally cool.

~getting to take off my 3 and 1/2 inch wedges after hours of wearing them.

~having a clean apartment.

~not failing at the charleston during wednesday night jam.

~fantastic double dates that last until 1 am.

~having a pet preying mantis named Matilda.

~finishing summer class and being able to hang out with people every night.

~roomie dates to Steak and Shake at 1:30 in the morning.

~not paying for food because your job supplies you with plenty.

~lazy Saturday afternoons with random trips to Wal-Mart.

Time Wasting

Reading other people's blogs always makes me want to blog again.

Tomorrow I'm moving out my summer apartment after work. It's hard to believe the summer is almost over. Granted, there is still almost a month left until school starts, but it feels like time has just flown by. I'm kind of disappointed in myself though. Maybe I did a lot this summer, but it doesn't really feel like it. I had so many high and lofty plans for the summer. I was going to read a lot of books and spend a lot of time in the Word and in prayer, I was going to go deeper in specific friendships, I was going to have a super memorable summer. But I don't feel as though I accomplished much. It's been really frustrating to me the last couple months of how complacent I have gotten with my life.

I visited my roommate Ginny down in Boonville last weekend which was a fun adventure. On Sunday we went to service at her church which is a Foursquare Church. For those of you like me who had no idea what that is, I think the best way to describe it would be a branch of Pentacostal. There were a lot of loud of loud voices singing and praying and proclaiming truth, people had their shoes off(yay, just like me!), they were exuberant in their worship, their faith was written all over their face. There was also some things that I wasn't very used to, like speaking in tongues and lots of praying over people.(to the point where they fell over, filled with the Holy Spirit perhaps?)

All that aside though, the sermon really spoke to me. The speaker talked about time. About using the time we are given to live the life God has called us to live. To not waste the time we have, because once it passes, we can never get it back. She talked about all the distractions in our life that cause us to waste our time.

Some of the things I wrote down while listening were:

"The purpose of distraction is to make you forget why God gave you time in the first place."

"We have been given time on this earth to do what God has called us to do."

"When we understand why we are here on this earth, what our specific calling is, we can focus on it. Getting rid of the distractions in your life gives you time."

"There is a difference between something being restorative and being a distraction. A distraction pulls you away from the work of God"

"When we misunderstand why we are here, we misuse our time."

All this really clicked with me and really frustrated me at the same time. Because I am a time waster. I remember listening to Adventures in Odyssey when I was younger(read a few years ago) and there was an episode done in a Twilight Zone fashion. The story within the story was about a girl who wasted time by always going to the mall and a boy who wasted time by always watching TV. Their lives were so consumed with their time wasters that they missed out on anything meaningful in life. Granted, those stories were a tad extreme; the girl spent 20 years in the mall to come out and find that life had gone on without her, but they still drive home a point. I try to cut out the distractions in my life, but I'm really good at finding new ones all the time. If I cut off facebook, I find a new website to browse. If I cut off TV, I find random things to read(read NOT homework). But I don't really know how to stop this. My goal for this next semester is to not waste time. I want to severely limit my time on the computer not related to school, I want to stop communicating with people via facebook or google+. I really want to be dedicated in my schoolwork and with building relationships with my roommates and other friends.

I truly believe that when we cut out distractions in our life, when we get things done that need to be done without procrastinating, that God can use that to open up possibilities for discussion with people, for kingdom work to be done. I want to be able to get my homework done in a timely manner so that when I have spare time, I can use it to write a letter to a friend, or read my Bible more, or tackle the stack of books I have sitting on my dresser.

I need some motivation and some sticking-to-my-guns-ness.

*sigh*

Now I REALLY should be in bed

Since that last post took a turn for the venting, I thought I would write another one that is a bit more light-hearted.

Things that have been happening in the last week:

Wednesday was swing at the engineering fountain which was entertaining. I danced a lot with a friend, Andrew, and it was quite delightful.

Thursday night was the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. The final installment in the Harry Potter series and I went with Dan and Devon in full costume and it was SO much fun. Dressing up to go to midnight premieres has become one of my favorite things to do, I only wish I had gotten into the Harry Potter movies prior to the 7/8 and 8/8 ones. Oh well. Next up is The Hobbit apparently. :)

Friday night I went to a campfire at Camp Tecumseh and I got to visit with my old partner Abby and some friends that are working again this summer. I also got to see Josiah and Jess which was tons of fun. They were BOTH in Hip Hop clinic this year and they gave a killer performance at the campfire. I was so proud of both of them!

Saturday Dan and I went up to Michigan City to see Ethan perform in Guys and Dolls. From that night I learned that Ethan is a bang up dancer, yellow Amps and Salt and Vinegar chips are the best road trip food, you won't get mugged in Michigan City while sleeping in your car if you park in the right place, and the BEST dance move to do while singing EVER. :D Just ask me next time you see me and I'll show you.

Sunday Dan and I spent forever trying to do our laundry. Have I ever mentioned how much I thoroughly despise doing laundry? I also got my hair dyed(it's so prettiful!) and I got a smidge of a tan at the pool. :)

Things I'm looking forward to in the next week:

Wednesday night is a big DJ battle at swing, that should be thoroughly exciting. :D

Thursday night I think I'm going to head back to camp to spend the evening there with Abs on her night off. Thinking about maybe crashing Day Camp Family Night...

Friday night Dan is taking me out for a fancy date and I'm going to wear one of my new Goodwill dresses.

Saturday I have an all day micro lab in Terre Haute and then it's off to Boonesville, IN for a weekend with my roommate Ginny. We're going to go bridesmaid dress shopping for her wedding next summer!

I should be going to bed...

...but I felt like writing here instead.

I've been wanting to post something here for a while, but life seems to be too chaotic to ever get my priorities in line long enough to do anything. I can't say that it is too busy, because in all reality it's not too busy, it's just too chaotic. Things are all kind of messy right now and I am trying so hard to get it all back in order again. Despite how my room might get sometimes, I really do like things neat and organized so much better.

Work is taking a lot out of me. I feel like I'm there all the time, and when I am there, there is so much for me to do. Reports to write and tests to make up and boxes upon boxes of food to finagle around our tight spaces, plus a group of people to manage. I don't like managing people very much. I could have told you this before, but now I really know. It would be one thing if I had picked them all. For instance, I have no problem working with and directing my dancers, but I chose all of them to be there. At work, I just have to manage a group of people that 1. are mostly all older than me 2. I had no say in hiring and 3. I used to just be co-workers with. So I know the situation isn't ideal, but I still don't like managing people like that. It's far too frustrating.

I had a conversation with Dan the other night about the lack of standards in this world. Now I'm not talking about moral standards or ethical standards or what have you. I'm talking about work ethic. Whatever happened to it?? I truly don't understand how so many people can settle for less than the best they are capable of. I don't understand why we as a society have made it okay for people to be complete slackers in their job, and for that to not be okay. I don't understand when efficiency went out the window and why we can't make a few more steps to make things infinitely better. The more I continue to work at my job, the more I realize why Purdue deals with so much debt. Why budget cuts are consistently happening and what is preventing the school from a higher standard of education. We've settled. All of us. We have settled for far less than what we can obtain and we are all okay with that. In fact we choose to praise and reward it. This absolutely blows my mind. It kills me when I think of how much money we could save at the lab. Of how much more efficient we could be. How much more eco-friendly, responsible, and fiscal we could be. But we aren't. We give all of that up for what? Some might say convenience, but I don't think it's convenient at all. I think it's wasteful. Granted, I'm not a department head, I don't understand how every little facet works. But from my lay person perspective, I see so much room for SIMPLE improvement. GAAH!!!

Rant over.

Something to Talk About

2 Things that have happened recently:

1. Got "promoted" to a "supervisor" position at the sensory lab. I say "promoted" and "supervisor" because those are the easiest words to say, but not necessarily entirely accurate. Basically, the guy who was in charge of things on a day to day basis in the lab, Dan, got a real grown up person job in Chicago and left us this week. Which is awesome for him! And now in the words of my co-workers, I am "the new Dan." I am in charge of the product coming in, deciding when tests will be run, coordinating with the industry people that want us to do the tests,(mostly one person at Kroger, lol) keeping the lab clean and organized and running smoothly, fixing all the computer problems,(I know, makes you wonder why they picked me to do this) writing and sending reports and the like. I was helping out with a lot of these things when Dan was still there, but now it's actually what I am expected to do. Haven't heard anything about a raise yet, but we'll see...I also get to be the one who sends out the emails telling people we are doing tests which is fun times. :D I think my official title would be the Student Lead, but I prefer to pretend that I can fire my friends. :D

2. Learned the Lindy at swing lessons. This is the most common dance that the gang at Purdue does. (funny, because when I was at AU, my friend Josh always said that Purdue people were Lindy snobs and danced it entirely too much, little did I know I would be experiencing that first hand one day!) It's a lot of fun and has made dancing with random leads so much easier because I actually know the footwork they are doing rather than just pretending!

In the Pursuit of God

Today at church, (which was held outside due to the power mysteriously being out, along with most of Campus on top of the hill) Ken talked about pursuing God and what that looks like/why it is important. Aside from the brilliant reading of "What's the Matter, Bunny Blue? there were also a couple of points that really hit me that I thought I would share.


~Actively pursuing God is difficult.

It's not an easy task to yearn to know God. It's easy to read books about God, to talk about God, to tell others about God, but that is not intimately knowing who God is.
I thought a lot about this in the context of relationships and marriage. Partially because gave one example of it, and partially because after our first meeting with Garrett last Wednesday, I've been thinking about marriage a lot. Anywho.
Think about the person that you like/love. You could read a book about him. You could talk about him. You could tell other people about him and how great and wonderful he is. But how do you actually KNOW him? The way that I KNOW Dan, is because I talk to him, all the freaking time. I tell him about my day, he tells me about his, we share experiences with each other, we see each other frequently, etc. etc. But it's not always easy. Knowing Dan has taken A) a lot of time, B) many hard/difficult conversations, and C) a lot of tears and frustration. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Do I put that much effort and time into my relationship with my Lord and Creator? Absolutely not.

~Great relationships are formed when each person is actively pursuing each other to the same degree.

I have crushed on a lot of boys in my day. It pretty much started in Kindergarten and never stopped. I used to keep a list in the back of my diary of all the guys I had had crushes on so I wouldn't forget about any of them. Oh boy. I teased and flirted with all of those boys, to some extent, but I never had any sort of relationship with them. Why? Well partially because I was 10 years old and anyone who thinks that a 10 year old can have a boyfriend is off their rocker. But also because these boys probably didn't even know that I liked them and they never gave any effort or thought to pursuing me. I was pursuing them (in a way that 10 year olds can) but that pursuit was not reciprocated.
This was further understood when I thought about the boyfriends I actually did have when I was older and in high school. At some point all of them ended for one reason or another. Oftentimes it was because one of us didn't want to put as much work and effort into the relationship as the other. We were contributing unequally and we were in an unpleasant situation for both of us. The pursuit of one was not matching the pursuit of the other and therefore the relationship failed.

I feel like the same can apply to our relationship with God. Your relationship will be so much better, so much stronger, and so much more worthwhile, if you are pursuing God as much as He is pursuing you. And since it would be impossible to pursue God more than He is pursuing us, then a better way to look at it would be,

The more that you pursue(seek to KNOW) God, the better your relationship will be because the closer you will get to (unattainable) "equilibrium."

OR

Pursue God as much as He pursues you, that is when a relationship is formed.

Whichever one of those phrases from Allyson's crazy mind makes more sense to you...hehehe.

~When we seek God we will find Him, but we have to prepare for what comes with that.

Philippians 3:10-11

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain tot he resurrection from the dead.

Sometimes knowing God intimately means that we will suffer trials and go through crap. He never promises that things will be easy, filled with fluffy pillows and chocolate fondue, but He does say that He will never leave us and the promise of a life with Him should be enough to press on toward the goal for which he has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All this to say that I was really challenged today with what it means to pursue Christ and why is is so important. Recently I have put a lot of thought and effort and time into my relationship with Dan, because I think it is important and because I think it is worth it. Why should my relationship with my Creator look any different?

Not Camp, but that's okay

I've been feeling really restless the past week, really wishing that I was at Camp this summer. But those campsick thoughts were quickly overtaken by the knowledge that I am not supposed to be there this summer and God called me away from there. So this left me with a feeling of frustration of what to do with all these dumb emotions floating around. I'm trying to learn to be content with where I am, but also productive. I want to feel like God is DOING something with me this summer, but I'm having trouble making myself open to the Holy Spirit to allow Him to do that.

I'm not sure any of my thoughts right now will make any coherent sense or go together at all...too many things in my mind! ahhh!!!

I was reading back over the notes I wrote on facebook during my last summer as a Day Camp Counselor. It makes me happy to see how in tune I was with God that summer. I had attended CIY Move before going to Camp that summer, and while that summer was of course not perfect, I remember it with a lot of fond memories. I was so excited about heading to school and growing up and all the things God was going to do with me and through me. It's interesting because when I think back to that summer usually, I tend to remember the negative things. Like how frustrated I was with my boyfriend at the time and how I hadn't gotten the coord position that summer and so on and so forth, but it really was a good summer. It was a good summer though because of what I was allowing God to do through me. I want to get back to that aspect of it. Or not really get back to that, I don't want to regress, this isn't me missing the glory days or anything. I want to come to a place of similar spiritual dependence and rhythm.(does anyone else think that is the most obnoxious word in the world to spell?)

Hmmm....

Anyway, I just felt like vomiting things out in words here, because I can't seem to do much of anything else coherently.

Blank Mind

I've been wanting to write for over a week now. It pops into my mind that I haven't written anything recently, but then I start thinking about what I should write about and my mind goes blank.

I would say that I have writer's block, but I'm not really a writer, just someone who likes the idea of having a blog.

This blcok seems to be seeping into other areas of my life. I have a dance that I need to choreograph next semester, and I have no ideas of what I want to do whatsoever. This isn't such a big deal, I still have the rest of the summer to come up with a workable idea, but it's odd for me to not constantly have an idea rolling around in my head. It doesn't help that I'm not in class or rehearsal or anything, and I haven't been since the end of April.

This lack of motivation seems to be infiltrating every aspect of my life at this point. Not that I'm not enjoying where I'm at this summer. But my life so quickly got into this routine. Get up, go to work, come home, work on micro homework, or make dinner and go to swing. Go grocery shopping, watch movies, etc. etc. I can't really explain what's going on in my mind these days, but it's very boring whatever it is. I have all these ideas and plans. Lists of things that I want to do, and yet I can't seem to just go out and DO them ever.

On the bright side, I made rhubarb crisp this past week and 2 days and 6 people later, it was demolished. And my was it delicious. :D

A Woman: What does this mean?

I struggle with being a woman sometimes. I struggle with living in the world that we do, with the way that women are treated. No, this isn't a feminist rant, somewhat the opposite really.

I'm not doing a very good job explaining. Some background first.

I grew up primarily in a rural Ohio town where the majority of people were farmers and college educations were few and far between. Kids grew up, married the girl next door, took over the family business, and at most lived a town away from their parents. If you needed a stereotypical Mid-Western town to look at, where I was from would be perfect.
But I never totally fit in with that culture. I was far too adventurous and forward thinking I suppose. I wanted to travel and live in Italy and dance and go to college far away and do big things.
My dislike of the rural culture I lived in for so long manifested itself in me in that I never wanted to be "just a stay at home mom or housewife." I wanted to do great things with my life and be a scientist and work full time and contribute financially so that I could do awesome things with my money like start a scholarship or build a dance school or something. "Just being a wife and mother" was the last goal I ever had for my life. Yes, I wanted to be a wife and mother, very badly, but I wanted to do that on top of being a great person.

As I have come to college though, my draw to become a wife and mother has been greater and greater. Obviously I am going to finish my degree and work towards getting a full time job when I graduate, and I do really love college and learning things and such, but my heart is often elsewhere. I want to be a wife and mother so badly. It's the strongest desire on my heart. Even when I have a great day at work or in the lab and I feel really fulfilled in the science I am doing, that pull is always there. But the thought of giving any part of career Allyson just doesn't sit well with me. The world tells me that my career should come first and I shouldn't let anything get in the way of that. And my mind tells me that I don't want to be like those women I grew up doing what I considered to pretty much be throwing their life away. So it is a conflict. Between what my heart, and my head, and the world is telling me.

Granted, no decisions really need to be made about this right this moment. I'm not even engaged for pete's sake and I still have three more years of school to do. But I often think about it and it can be very frustrating at times. I realize that the only opinion in all of this that matters is what God is calling me to do and who he is calling me to be. However, I don't think that He has given me a strong answer on this right now. He has simply said "Wait. Wait for the right time. Wait on my perfect timing. And trust." I don't always like doing that though...