Today I got a text from my mum saying that my dad had been offered a job today. This should be fantastic news, and it is, since he was laid off last May and has been searching for something since then. He didn't think that he had much of a shot at this job, but interviewed for it anyway, I mean, that's what you do. Well, he was offered it and now has 3 days to decide.
So why is this such a big thing and why am I not just jumping for joy right now?
Taking this job also means a move from Anderson to South Bend.
I'm not really sure how I feel about this. I mean, it's not really my decision to make, and I don't really live at home anymore so perhaps I shouldn't really care, but I do. This would be the first move I make without my family. Caleb has already done this, but I haven't. This is also move number 8 I think for my family since I was born. When I was younger, I loved moving, absolutely loved it. I have grown less fond of it as I have grown older though.
Like I said, this move wouldn't really affect me a whole lot, I don't live at home very much and it's still in Indiana, so nothing changes for me at school, it would just be a shock. To go home to a place that I don't know. To not be 5 minutes away from my best friend(when we're not at school, obviously). To not be able to have Saturday breakfasts at Eva's and be able to catch Kim up on my life. To not be able to go back to AU and see old friends all in one place.
The last time we moved, when I was a sophomore in high school, it was hard and it was sad, but I knew it was coming. In fact it was 18 months coming. So I had that time to mentally process, emotionally sort through everything that might come at me. I was ready for the move when it finally came, even though it was still hard. This seems all so sudden and like such a whirlwind! I mean, how can someone make a choice to uproot a family and move across the state(into Notre Dame country no less) in a matter of days? I need time to make pros and cons lists and see what all the options are in each particular place. I feel bad because I don't want my mum to have to leave her support group of friends and my baby sister her new dance school that she absolutely loves. I don't want to give up the only house that has ever felt like my home. I don't want to leave the town where I experienced so many monumental things in my recent life.
Clearly this is mostly emotional and sentimental. It makes sense to move. My dad needs a job, my family needs health insurance, I'd love a car....
Dealing with all these thoughts and ideas in my mind right now just isn't working out so hot tough. I would be sad if we moved and I had to leave the horribly depressed town of Anderson that has come to be my home. I would however, be sad if my dad turned down the job that he has been looking for, for so many months.
When it comes down to it, I'm glad that I don't have to make this decision. It's not really my life to deal with anymore, just the lives of those I love the most. I'm glad that this burden doesn't fall on me. It does however fall on my parents and I ask that you would please pray for them these next few days. Pray a lot. Pray for wisdom and insight, for peace and security. Pray that whatever decision they make that they know and are confident it is the right one. Pray that God places His hands on their shoulders and leads them the direction they should go, and that they can make this decision together, as a husband and wife, and as a family.
Sometimes, it's scary and intimidating when God answers our prayers.
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