Something to Talk About

2 Things that have happened recently:

1. Got "promoted" to a "supervisor" position at the sensory lab. I say "promoted" and "supervisor" because those are the easiest words to say, but not necessarily entirely accurate. Basically, the guy who was in charge of things on a day to day basis in the lab, Dan, got a real grown up person job in Chicago and left us this week. Which is awesome for him! And now in the words of my co-workers, I am "the new Dan." I am in charge of the product coming in, deciding when tests will be run, coordinating with the industry people that want us to do the tests,(mostly one person at Kroger, lol) keeping the lab clean and organized and running smoothly, fixing all the computer problems,(I know, makes you wonder why they picked me to do this) writing and sending reports and the like. I was helping out with a lot of these things when Dan was still there, but now it's actually what I am expected to do. Haven't heard anything about a raise yet, but we'll see...I also get to be the one who sends out the emails telling people we are doing tests which is fun times. :D I think my official title would be the Student Lead, but I prefer to pretend that I can fire my friends. :D

2. Learned the Lindy at swing lessons. This is the most common dance that the gang at Purdue does. (funny, because when I was at AU, my friend Josh always said that Purdue people were Lindy snobs and danced it entirely too much, little did I know I would be experiencing that first hand one day!) It's a lot of fun and has made dancing with random leads so much easier because I actually know the footwork they are doing rather than just pretending!

In the Pursuit of God

Today at church, (which was held outside due to the power mysteriously being out, along with most of Campus on top of the hill) Ken talked about pursuing God and what that looks like/why it is important. Aside from the brilliant reading of "What's the Matter, Bunny Blue? there were also a couple of points that really hit me that I thought I would share.


~Actively pursuing God is difficult.

It's not an easy task to yearn to know God. It's easy to read books about God, to talk about God, to tell others about God, but that is not intimately knowing who God is.
I thought a lot about this in the context of relationships and marriage. Partially because gave one example of it, and partially because after our first meeting with Garrett last Wednesday, I've been thinking about marriage a lot. Anywho.
Think about the person that you like/love. You could read a book about him. You could talk about him. You could tell other people about him and how great and wonderful he is. But how do you actually KNOW him? The way that I KNOW Dan, is because I talk to him, all the freaking time. I tell him about my day, he tells me about his, we share experiences with each other, we see each other frequently, etc. etc. But it's not always easy. Knowing Dan has taken A) a lot of time, B) many hard/difficult conversations, and C) a lot of tears and frustration. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Do I put that much effort and time into my relationship with my Lord and Creator? Absolutely not.

~Great relationships are formed when each person is actively pursuing each other to the same degree.

I have crushed on a lot of boys in my day. It pretty much started in Kindergarten and never stopped. I used to keep a list in the back of my diary of all the guys I had had crushes on so I wouldn't forget about any of them. Oh boy. I teased and flirted with all of those boys, to some extent, but I never had any sort of relationship with them. Why? Well partially because I was 10 years old and anyone who thinks that a 10 year old can have a boyfriend is off their rocker. But also because these boys probably didn't even know that I liked them and they never gave any effort or thought to pursuing me. I was pursuing them (in a way that 10 year olds can) but that pursuit was not reciprocated.
This was further understood when I thought about the boyfriends I actually did have when I was older and in high school. At some point all of them ended for one reason or another. Oftentimes it was because one of us didn't want to put as much work and effort into the relationship as the other. We were contributing unequally and we were in an unpleasant situation for both of us. The pursuit of one was not matching the pursuit of the other and therefore the relationship failed.

I feel like the same can apply to our relationship with God. Your relationship will be so much better, so much stronger, and so much more worthwhile, if you are pursuing God as much as He is pursuing you. And since it would be impossible to pursue God more than He is pursuing us, then a better way to look at it would be,

The more that you pursue(seek to KNOW) God, the better your relationship will be because the closer you will get to (unattainable) "equilibrium."

OR

Pursue God as much as He pursues you, that is when a relationship is formed.

Whichever one of those phrases from Allyson's crazy mind makes more sense to you...hehehe.

~When we seek God we will find Him, but we have to prepare for what comes with that.

Philippians 3:10-11

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain tot he resurrection from the dead.

Sometimes knowing God intimately means that we will suffer trials and go through crap. He never promises that things will be easy, filled with fluffy pillows and chocolate fondue, but He does say that He will never leave us and the promise of a life with Him should be enough to press on toward the goal for which he has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All this to say that I was really challenged today with what it means to pursue Christ and why is is so important. Recently I have put a lot of thought and effort and time into my relationship with Dan, because I think it is important and because I think it is worth it. Why should my relationship with my Creator look any different?

Not Camp, but that's okay

I've been feeling really restless the past week, really wishing that I was at Camp this summer. But those campsick thoughts were quickly overtaken by the knowledge that I am not supposed to be there this summer and God called me away from there. So this left me with a feeling of frustration of what to do with all these dumb emotions floating around. I'm trying to learn to be content with where I am, but also productive. I want to feel like God is DOING something with me this summer, but I'm having trouble making myself open to the Holy Spirit to allow Him to do that.

I'm not sure any of my thoughts right now will make any coherent sense or go together at all...too many things in my mind! ahhh!!!

I was reading back over the notes I wrote on facebook during my last summer as a Day Camp Counselor. It makes me happy to see how in tune I was with God that summer. I had attended CIY Move before going to Camp that summer, and while that summer was of course not perfect, I remember it with a lot of fond memories. I was so excited about heading to school and growing up and all the things God was going to do with me and through me. It's interesting because when I think back to that summer usually, I tend to remember the negative things. Like how frustrated I was with my boyfriend at the time and how I hadn't gotten the coord position that summer and so on and so forth, but it really was a good summer. It was a good summer though because of what I was allowing God to do through me. I want to get back to that aspect of it. Or not really get back to that, I don't want to regress, this isn't me missing the glory days or anything. I want to come to a place of similar spiritual dependence and rhythm.(does anyone else think that is the most obnoxious word in the world to spell?)

Hmmm....

Anyway, I just felt like vomiting things out in words here, because I can't seem to do much of anything else coherently.

Blank Mind

I've been wanting to write for over a week now. It pops into my mind that I haven't written anything recently, but then I start thinking about what I should write about and my mind goes blank.

I would say that I have writer's block, but I'm not really a writer, just someone who likes the idea of having a blog.

This blcok seems to be seeping into other areas of my life. I have a dance that I need to choreograph next semester, and I have no ideas of what I want to do whatsoever. This isn't such a big deal, I still have the rest of the summer to come up with a workable idea, but it's odd for me to not constantly have an idea rolling around in my head. It doesn't help that I'm not in class or rehearsal or anything, and I haven't been since the end of April.

This lack of motivation seems to be infiltrating every aspect of my life at this point. Not that I'm not enjoying where I'm at this summer. But my life so quickly got into this routine. Get up, go to work, come home, work on micro homework, or make dinner and go to swing. Go grocery shopping, watch movies, etc. etc. I can't really explain what's going on in my mind these days, but it's very boring whatever it is. I have all these ideas and plans. Lists of things that I want to do, and yet I can't seem to just go out and DO them ever.

On the bright side, I made rhubarb crisp this past week and 2 days and 6 people later, it was demolished. And my was it delicious. :D